


Luminosity

by orphan_account



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, How Do I Tag, No Beta We Die Like August, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: tenma is not only a successful actor; he is so much more than that, and no matter how obvious that should be, somehow it never crossed anyone's minds.
Relationships: Sumeragi Tenma/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Luminosity

You couldn't sleep.

The constant jitters you felt from filming an episode have already worn off hours ago during dinner, but somehow your body refuses to give in to your exhaustion. 

You absolutely had no idea if it was because you're still not used to sleeping in a tent—which was honestly very uncomfortable, you were tossing and turning every night for god knows how long—or if it was from the heat in your sleeping bag that was building up from your own body temperature. It was such a huge contrast to the chilly winds outside the comforts of your own tent, so when you zipped open the tent flap in a desperate attempt to get rid of the sheen of sweat coating your body, it did nothing to cool you down. Only then did you realize that the wind is blowing to the opposite direction of the flap, much to your chagrin.

To make things worse, your racing thoughts never seemed to stop no matter how hard you tried. The secluded area that is your tent didn't really help the situation at hand, in fact you're feeling more claustrophobic as time passed by.

You're positive that you'll combust if you stay in the tent any longer.

Without a second thought, you slipped out of your sleeping bag and hastily put on your jacket and slip-ons, not bothering to double check if the jacket was inside-out or if the slip-ons were on the correct feet. Stepping out of the tent as stealthily as you can, you slowly zip the tent flap close as an effort to not let the sound disturb the sleep of your coworkers, mindful of their snores getting louder. 

Even though you weren't necessarily in a hurry, you felt the need to walk away from the campsite as fast as possible, growing worried that the director might show up out of nowhere and give you an earful about not resting properly. You wince at the thought as it happened more often than you'd like to admit.

Not even a minute has passed, and you inwardly hissed as a realization dawns to you. You barely knew the places around here! Why did you even leave your tent if you wouldn't know where to go? Your lack of knowledge isn't your fault to begin with, since the crew prohibited everyone from going far from the campsite so that no one's safety gets compromised, but still.

The only areas you knew where to go by foot were to the hills and forests, since majority of the scenes were shot in those locations. Despite knowing the directions, there's absolutely no way in hell you're going there in the middle of the night unless you want to have nightmares nonstop for a week, and you definitely don't want that. Goosebumps formed on your skin just by imagining it.

You sighed exasperatedly, wondering if you should just go back to your tent and try to sleep like what you were doing earlier. It wasn't as if you actually gained anything by sneaking out, did you?

It was then you remembered that the beach is a viable option to your midnight journey. At first, you never really considered the beach as a choice because you completely forgot about it. The first and only time everyone went there was during the first day to unwind before the crew starts to shoot the next morning.

As far as your memory could take you, the way to the beach was always well-lit by the street lamps regardless of the time of the day, so you don't need to worry about getting lost. The trip is only three minutes by foot, and you're pretty sure that the area is open at all times.

You just wanted to be left alone for a little bit to reorganize your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?

Except you spot a striking mop of orange in the middle of it all. There Tenma was, one of your co-actors, seemingly deep in thought as he stared at the night sky, unmoving. Judging from how late it was, you never really expected that somebody else aside from you would be up during the unholy hours.

You initially planned to leave the campsite for the sake of giving yourself a moment of peace, but now that you're aware that you have a company, you guess it wouldn't be bad to have someone with you.

In an attempt to not frighten your unsuspecting companion, you tiptoed your way to him, consciously evening out your breathing. His position stayed the same the whole time, somehow still completely oblivious of the fact that you're nearly behind him. With a deep breath, you mustered the softest voice you could manage, calling him to announce your presence. "Tenma?"

Your efforts of being subtle were in vain when Tenma's body jumped in surprise, his head immediately whipping to your direction. He stares at you wide-eyed as he repeatedly opened and closed his mouth, clearly flustered from shock.

For some apparent reason, your brain refused to give you an idea of something coherent to say in this situation, which resulted in you awkwardly staring back at him, just as dumbfounded as he was.

After what felt like eternity of silence between the two of you, Tenma releases a long sigh of relief, his shoulders visibly loosening up. "What, it's just you. What's the deal with scaring me like that?"

"I wasn't trying to scare you!" You instinctively waved your hands in denial, shaking your head vigorously as if that was going to help you prove your innocence. "It's not my fault you easily get scared!"

"Says the one who was suddenly behind me without any warning!" Tenma retorts, his loud volume contrasting your toned-down voice from earlier. As usual, Tenma is being so defensive in every chance he gets, and that earns him a chuckle from you. You feel his eyes following your movements as you sat beside him and positioned yourself, trying to pay no heed to the proximity between the two of you. Knees on your chest, you hugged your legs and faced him, "Mind if I join you?"

"Are you seriously asking me that right after inviting yourself in?" Tenma murmured in resignation, furrowing his eyebrows as if to say, "Really now?" 

Despite all that, he did not show any signs of refusal. That solely meant he was perfectly fine with your presence, and that was more than enough for you. You simply hummed in response as you gazed at the night sky.

Silence.

At first, getting along with Tenma proved to be a challenge even to you, despite your easygoing and amiable disposition to everyone around you. It wasn't that he has a bad personality or anything of that sort that made things difficult, it's just that he wasn't really honest with most of what he says. It definitely took some time for you to be able to decipher the meaning behind everything that he says, and now you have him completely figured out like the back of your hand.

You've come a long way.

The thought of that makes you smile. If you were being honest, you never imagined that you would be this familiar to each other, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

Your thoughts faded away when you took notice of Tenma's movements in your peripheral vision. Your sight was still focused at the night sky, but you paid attention on how he occasionally tears his gaze away from your surroundings to look at you with a troubled expression, slightly parting his lips as if he wanted to say something that he was hiding from you for a long time, only to close it and look away as if nothing happened.

It's been going on for a few minutes, and you would be lying if you said his odd behavior didn't concern you one bit. Have you somehow hurt his feelings without realizing? Did something happen between the two of you that you weren't aware of? Different sorts of questions popped up in your mind, and the fact that you don't have an answer to any of them makes you anxious.

As much as you liked to ask him directly, you suspected that being too straightforward about it wouldn't help your case. Trying to figure out what to say made you extremely aware of the awkward silence stretching between the two of you. The calm waves of the ocean rung loud in your ears, as if its role is to fill in the void until one of you says something.

Your gaze shifts back to Tenma. You stayed that way like he had all the solutions to your questions that seemed to be never-ending in your mind. If he noticed that you were staring at him, he chose not to call you out for it, which he rarely did, and you were thankful.

His current presence raised another question.

"Hey, Tenma."

Blinking at the mention of his name, he gives you an inquisitive glance. Tenma says nothing, but his raised eyebrows were a queue for you to continue what you were saying.

"Why are you still awake?"

His sight casts downwards, remaining silent. A serious look was etched on his features as he appeared to contemplate on what to answer. You furrow your eyebrows from watching him, finding his behavior really out of the ordinary. He'd either snark at you and say it's none of your business or he'd say something about memorizing his lines for another drama that he's in. Tenma doing neither of the two is honestly unsettling.

Just when you thought he's going to stay silent and leave the question unanswered, Tenma heaved a sigh. "Well, even I have something that keeps me up all night, I guess."

Looks like that's what he decided to say after some deliberation. You can't help but notice that Tenma may or may not have intentionally dodged your question, but you believe it would be for the best if you don't press on the issue any further.

"Could say the same for myself." You shrugged, responding that way in hopes of keeping the conversation going. "Just thinking about what happened today."

Tenma cocks his head to the side as he curiously eyed you. He leaned forward, an obvious sign that something you said piqued his interest. "Like what?"

"Let's see..." You tapped your index finger on your chin as you feigned contemplation, already having a certain memory in mind. The scene replaying in your brain had a round of laughter threatening to escape from your lips, but you did your best to keep it in. After a few moments, you smirked at him teasingly. "Like that time during lunch when you screamed like a girl after they threw a toy lizard on your face."

"H-hey!" He stuttered, a blush quickly unfurling on his cheeks as he glared at you. Any trace of his pensive expression from earlier was already gone, now replaced with pure embarrassment. "I don't want to hear that from someone who practically took half an hour just to take two measly steps on rock climbing!"

"Wha..?" The tables have turned, and you felt your cheeks heating up to mirror his. How dare he use your tricks against you! There's no way you're letting him get the last laugh! "That's a completely different issue! I might fall down and die, you know?"

"You were wearing a freaking harness! There's no way you're gonna die!"

"I-" You stopped in the middle of your sentence, trying to think of a good comeback. Nothing came to mind however, and seeing Tenma smile at you smugly, you reluctantly surrender with a huff. "Nevermind. You win."

The both of you locked eyes, pausing for a brief moment. Then, as if on cue, you and Tenma bursted into laughter. You weren't sure of what you both found funny, if it was the momentary silence after you ran out of ideas of countering him, or if it was the whole ridiculous exchange, trying to one-up each other just for the sake of it. Either way, the sense of synchronization you're experiencing with him right now felt pleasant. It's not a bad feeling, and in the back of your mind you secretly hoped that this will not be the last time you're going to feel this sensation.

There's no way you're telling that to anyone. Especially not to him, of course.

The laughter eventually died down, and the both of you wordlessly settled on basking in the peacefulness of the night. Compared from earlier, the silence itself is comforting. Your mind is now somehow at ease, and the ocean waves weren't ringing in your head as loud as it used to.

If there was one thing you should've known, you're more prone to vulnerability when you're tired. Unfortunately, it doesn't get any better especially when you're with someone else.

That, along with your judgment that has been impaired from drowsiness, brought you to open up a subject that you tried to avoid for the longest time whenever you're with him.

"This series is about to end, huh..." You started, tightening the hug around your legs. A bittersweet smile made its way across your lips as you absentmindedly watched the ocean waves roll to the shore. 

Even though it doesn't sound like a big deal, you held this particular series close to your heart. It's not necessarily the best one out there if you were being truthful, however this production got you emotionally attached in more ways than one. It was unlike any other. You earned various experiences not only from interacting with the crew, but also to the world around you as a whole. You felt your growth both as an actor and as a person, and that realization got you into a state of euphoria once again after years of seemingly being stuck in a rut, being stuck in those common opinions and perceptions the media had of you.

And you wanted to stay that way.

Despite that, all things must come to an end, including the good ones. You still are unprepared to let it go, no matter how much you braced yourself for it.

"Was fun playing the role of a meteorologist. Didn't expect to learn a lot in this, if I'm being honest." That was only the half truth, but you weren't lying. Playing the role wasn't simply as shallow as fun to you—it was thrilling, to say the least.

Playing that role was what rekindled your nearly extinguished passion for acting, which sounded so ironic considering that acting was basically what you've been doing the entire time. All it took was a plot that's breathtakingly unique compared to the constant storylines everybody seemed to love.

Despite being aware of your own sentiments regarding the matter, you can't bring yourself to be open about it to Tenma, even though the both of you are in that level of familiarity where you could share your problems to each other. Unfortunately, you're painfully aware of the fact that he has years of experience ahead of you, and you still have no idea whatsoever on what truly makes him passionate about acting, or what makes him feel inspired enough to pursue it.

You did not have a single clue as to why you found it terrifying that he finds out what you hold dear in your heart, only for you to learn that such a thing is insignificant to him, something he'll probably forget after a month or so. With this train of thought, you silently acknowledged to yourself that you treasure not only his presence but also the things he cared about...

Ah.

Your drowsy, half-lidded eyes immediately widened as you dawned to a realization. You know that you're only friends with him. You didn't intend to get this far. You're not supposed to feel like this.

Your heartbeat quickens as everything suddenly made sense, as to why you were overly conscious of the way he views you, or why you were always concerned of his well-being. The redness of your cheeks is spreading to the tips of your ears as well as the nape of your neck. You buried your face to your knees in a possibly futile attempt to hide from him. It didn't matter if you looked weird hiding your face out of nowhere. You just didn't want him to see you acting like this only because you realized something so obvious in the worst timing possible.

Unable to keep it in any longer, you pushed the responsibility of carrying the conversation to Tenma. Your voice was getting strained from the surge of emotions, struggling from the temporary inability to express yourself freely. "What about you? What... do you think about this project?"

Thankfully, Tenma appears to be unaware of your current dilemma. "Me?" He pointed at himself, despite being fully aware that you directed the question to him. Force of habit. "Well, you're right about learning a lot in this role. It actually helped me go beyond my capabilities."

Tenma propped his elbow to his knee, leaning his chin to his right palm as his gaze to the ocean softens. He then continues, his voice transitioning to a gentle tone as if he was revealing a part of him that he kept to himself for the longest time. "You know how I always get similar roles in different projects? Being the cool guy and all that stuff? This show was basically my haven from all those. If this ends, I'll go back to the routine I had before I landed on a role here, and I'm afraid that I'll stop growing..." 

Tenma gradually trailed off, his gaze turning melancholic. He then looked down to his feet, pursing his lips. It seemed as though he regretted uttering every single word of it, and you felt a sharp pang in your chest just from thinking about it. Shaking his head, Tenma sighs heavily and mutters, "Nevermind. Forget it."

There's no way you're going to turn a blind eye on what he said. Not when you now know that the both of you feel the same about the project ending. Until now, you didn't have the faintest idea that he may have been feeling stagnant after all, deprived of opportunities that actually interested him. Like you, he seeks for improvement and strives for perfection in any chance that he gets his hands on, no matter how trivial the challenge is.

Why didn't it occur to you that he also has his own insecurities and worries?

You realized it too late, but at some point you were blinded on how accomplished he was compared to you. You've forgotten that he is still a normal person, someone who is not less prone to negative emotions.

Tenma's seemingly never-ending confidence also falters. His courageous facade also gets broken at times.

You were grateful to Tenma for deciding to lay himself bare to you, even if it was only for a short while—that in itself was solid proof that he placed his trust on you. That did not do anything to lessen your guilt on hiding your insecurities towards him—in fact, the weight just became heavier in your chest. Deep inside, you were scared of the possibility that he will leave your side once you expose your imperfections and negativity for him to see.

Now being aware of the extent of his trust gave you a renewed sense of pride. You vowed to yourself that you will always be there for him whenever he needs someone to keep him in check.

Doing so ultimately meant that you have to open up to Tenma or it'll be unfair to him. You're not ready to do it right now, though. You believe this is not the time to do so, but your newfound confidence will make a way for you to do it as soon as possible, and you're absolutely sure of it.

For now, you're going to settle on supporting him more wholeheartedly on his future endeavors.

You looked at the sky. The moon was shining in its waxing crescent glory, and the stars were getting brighter as the night deepens. No particular memory of yours is associated with the stars, but somehow you are hit with a wave of nostalgia. It probably might have been so long since you have taken a proper look at them, the night sky in the city was often devoid of the brilliance of stars. The city is always bustling even during the darkness, it's as if all the stars in the sky went down to the city lights just to shine brighter.

Your stare lingered at a certain part of the sky, and you were strongly reminded of the production.

"Do you still remember what Draco is?"

Tenma turns to you, lighting up in recognition. "The constellation, right?" You nod in response, beaming at the childlike glint in his eyes. Looks like he could still remember the content of the script the both of you went over a few days ago.

He laid down, and you followed suit. You observed him as he furrowed his eyebrows in concentration and bit the insides of his lower lip as he tried to figure out where the said constellation is located. His eyes scanned the sky like a lawyer checking for a loophole in a contract, slightly narrowing whenever he thinks he is getting closer to what he was looking for.

Usually, you challenged or taunted him into doing stuff that pretty much lacked significance—it was mainly just Tenma being easily provoked, though. Most of the time, he only wanted to prove that he is capable of doing things, even though he fails some—if not most, and this is you being generous—of the time.

What Tenma was doing right now was a huge contrast to how he usually operates. You didn't have to provoke him into searching for the constellation, it was just him and his innocent curiosity doing all the work.

Admittedly, you find the scene unfolding in front of you endearing.

"Ah," Tenma's voice broke your reverie. He raised his hand and pointed at at an area in the sky with his index finger, his sight fixed. "That's Draco, isn't it?"

"Let's see," you leaned your body closer to his position to see where he was pointing at, following his line of sight. If you were only a tiny bit farther, you would miss the way his body slightly jolts from the contact.

There was no way you wouldn't feel it though, not when your arms are practically sticking to each other now. You definitely didn't do that on purpose, but your heart was set aflutter and you want to stay like this for a little longer.

This is your first and most likely your last chance, may as well make the most out of it.

Tenma only had a small part of Draco figured out. He was a little off, but it wasn't that bad for a first try. You let out a tiny giggle, partially impressed at his attempt, and held his raised hand with your own. Steadying your grasp, you positioned your hands a bit to the right so he points at the brightest star of the constellation.

"That's Gamma Draconis," you explained. You didn't have the tiniest focus to your explanation, all of your thoughts were occupied by the physical touch. You always knew his hand was significantly larger than yours, but with your fingers firmly enveloped to his, you couldn't help but notice just how big the contrast is. His touch is soft and gentle like a girl's, and you swear it's more feminine than your own. "That star is going to be your guide on seeing the rest of Draco."

You guide his hand with yours as you slowly traced the serpent-like constellation. The whole time, your palm was seeping onto his body heat. Your icy cold fingers desperately clung to his warm ones so tightly, as if he was your lifeline. "Do you see it?"

"Mm." He nods, eyes twinkling under the stars as they repeatedly traced the constellation over and over again. There was no more point on holding his hand, so you hesitantly pulled yours away. You then held your own hands together, letting your freezing hand soak in the warmth of the hand you held Tenma with.

It was at that moment you missed his touch and regretted letting go, but it wasn't like you had the right to do so.

After you let go, Tenma brought his hand down. He opened his fingertips and stared at his palm, a faint blush adorning his cheeks. With a small sigh, he gently placed his hand to his chest and shifted his gaze back to the constellation you were talking about.

Was that perhaps a sign that he also hold you close to his heart—

No, you warned yourself. Don't you dare get your hopes up.

He remained quiet after that. With nothing else to say, you carried on with your explanation from earlier. "Draco actually means dragon in Latin. Its borders contains the Hercules-Corona Borealis Great Wall, which is the home of billions of galaxies. Impressive, right?"

Tenma looked at you, still saying nothing in response. His eyes were a completely different matter, though. He looked at you inquisitively, as if he wanted to ask you, "Why are you telling me all this?", but couldn't bring himself to say it. It wasn't that he was being snarky about it, he was just curious. And somehow confused.

You turned your head to his side. The both of you now faced each other, merely a couple inches apart. Trying to ignore the heat creeping to your cheeks and beating of your heart growing erratic, you grinned widely. "From the things that you said earlier... it made me remember that constellation."

Tenma blinks once, then twice. His gaze is still on you, more questioning than ever, as his eyes widened in stupefaction. It appeared that he didn't know if that was supposed to be a compliment - he racked his brain to find an answer to his endless questions, however he came up with nothing. He then decided to finally ask you, "Why is that?"

"You mentioned that you feel like you'll stop improving, right? You can't see the Borealis Great Wall with the naked eye, and yet it has billions of galaxies." You paused to purse your lips, embarrassed to say the next words, but you knew you have to. With a deep breath, you continued, "You may not realize it, but you are worth so much more than you imagine. Have more faith in yourself."

As you spoke, you wished that you could tell that to yourself, too. It sounded hypocritical coming from your own lips, but you hoped that he knew you were being completely honest, and that he would take what you said to heart.

"And when the time comes that you lose faith in yourself..." you trailed off, the color of your cheeks growing deeper. "...just remember that I still believe in you."

It wasn't initially your plan to reveal that much. Despite that, you figured he deserved to know how much he meant to you, even though you're aware that he may not reciprocate the thought.

"...you."

"Hm?"

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Tenma genuinely smiled, his eyes glimmering from the luminosity of the stars above you. Even without the sun, he was practically radiating under the moonlight, glowing from the cracks of his own imperfections that he left open for you to see. It was this moment that you fully understood how vulnerable he was.

Tomorrow is another day. The essence of openness between the two of you will disappear as you face the world once more, pretending that this night never happened. With the limited time you have, you want to savor this moment of tranquility with him by your side.

You beamed warmly at him, "You're welcome."


End file.
